Suspicious Mother « Result #1 on Mar 12, 2009, 10:48pm »
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.
Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for
dinner. Love, Brian".
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
"Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie; I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if Stephanie is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
A Short Holiday « Result #2 on Mar 12, 2009, 10:48pm »
Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays.
He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper "Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food, fresh air, horse riding, walking, fishing. Reasonable prices ."
" This sounds like a good idea." he thought, " I' 11 spend a month at Willow Farm. I'll enjoy horse riding, walking and fishing. They'll make a change from sitting by the seaside.
Four days later he returned home.
"What' s wrong with Willow Farm ?" his friend asked him. " Didn't you enjoy country life ?"
"Country life was fine," Alan said." But there was another problem.
"Oh, what?"
Well, the first day I was there a sheep died, and we had roast lamb for dinner.
揊resh meat is the best.擾"I know, but on the second day a cow died, and we had roast beef for dinner. "
"Lucky you!"
"You don't understand," Alan said." On the third day a pig died and we had roast pork for dinner."
" A different roast every day." Jack exclaimed.
"Let me finish," Alan said." On the fourth day the farmer died and I didn't dare stay for dinner!"
Parwati and the Beggar-Man « Result #3 on Feb 28, 2009, 1:43am »
Once upon a time there was a town called Atpat. In It there lived a Brahman. He had seven daughters, and when they had reached a marriageable age he asked them who would arrange their marriages and bring them handsome husbands and make their fortunes. The six eldest daughters said, "Papa, Papa, you of course. You will arrange our marriages and bring us handsome husbands and make our fortunes for us."
But the youngest daughter was a naughty little girl. She got into a temper all about nothing, and she stamped her foot, and she turned her back on her father and said, "I will arrange my own marriage, and I will get a handsome husband for myself, and I will make my fortune myself." The Brahman was very angry with her, and so how do you think he punished her? He first searched about and found six rich and handsome boys. Then he married them with great pomp and display to his six eldest daughters.
But the youngest girl he gave in marriage to a miserable beggar-man. You never saw such a beggar-man as he was! There was not a spot on his skin that was not black with leprosy, and his feet and hands had rotted right off. If you had seen him you would have said, "If that beggar-man does not die to-day he will certainly die to-morrow. For he cannot possibly live any longer!" When the marriage was celebrated, the little girl's mother filled her lap with wheat and then handed her over to the beggar-man to see what sort of fortune would be hers.
But in a few days the beggar-man died. His corpse was taken to the burning-ground, and his little widow followed it. But when his relatives wanted to burn the body, she forbade them and told them to go away. For she said, "My fortune is still to come, whatever it may be." They all got round her and tried to persuade her that there was no use in her staying by the corpse, but she would not mind what they said. At last they were quite tired out and went home, leaving her in the burning-ground. When they had gone she took her husband's corpse on to her lap. Then she prayed to the god Shiva and said:
"My parents disown me. O why was I born Both as orphan and widow to live all forlorn?"
As she prayed, she put the wheat which her mother had put into her lap grain by grain in the dead man's mouth. Then she sat there crying until midnight. Now it happened that on that very night Shiva and Parwati were in their chariot driving through the air over that very place. Parwati said suddenly to her husband, "I hear a woman crying, let us go and see what it is."
The god Shiva drove his chariot down to earth. He and Parwati got out and saw the Brahman's youngest daughter crying. They asked her what the reason was, and she told them. Then Parwati pitied her and said, "Your aunt has acquired great merit by her piety and devotions. You go to her and get her to give you all her merit and so you will bring your husband back to life." The god Shiva and Parwati then mounted on their chariot and disappeared.
Next morning the little widow left her husband's body, went to her aunt's house and begged her to give her all the merit which she had acquired, and told her the cause of the request. The aunt was very good and gave her all her own merit. The little widow then went back to the burning-ground and with its aid brought her husband back to life. But this time he was no longer a beggar-man black with leprosy and with feet and hands that had rotted away. He was a beautiful young man with well-shaped feet and a beautiful fair skin, and the little widow took her husband back to her father's house.
"Papa, Papa," she said, "you turned me out, but the gods have brought me back, and good fortune came to me without your bringing it." The father was too frightened of Parwati to say anything, so he held his peace. And the little girl and her husband, the beggar-man, lived happily ever afterwards.
The Tiger, the Brahman, and the Jackal « Result #4 on Feb 28, 2009, 1:43am »
Once upon a time, a tiger was caught in a trap. He tried in vain to get out through the bars, and rolled and bit with rage and grief when he failed.
By chance a poor Brahman came by. "Let me out of this cage, oh pious one!" cried the tiger.
"Nay, my friend," replied the Brahman mildly, "you would probably eat me if I did."
"Not at all!" swore the tiger with many oaths; "on the contrary, I should be for ever grateful, and serve you as a slave!"
Now when the tiger sobbed and sighed and wept and swore, the pious Brahman's heart softened, and at last he consented to open the door of the cage. Out popped the tiger, and, seizing the poor man, cried, "What a fool you are! What is to prevent my eating you now, for after being cooped up so long I am just terribly hungry!"
In vain the Brahman pleaded for his life; the most he could gain was a promise to abide by the decision of the first three things he chose to question as to the justice of the tiger's action.
So the Brahman first asked a pipal tree what it thought of the matter, but the pipal tree replied coldly, "What have you to complain about? Don't I give shade and shelter to every one who passes by, and don't they in return tear down my branches to feed their cattle? Don't whimper--be a man!"
Then the Brahman, sad at heart, went further afield till he saw a buffalo turning a well-wheel; but he fared no better from it, for it answered, "You are a fool to expect gratitude! Look at me! Whilst I gave milk they fed me on cotton-seed and oil-cake, but now I am dry they yoke me here, and give me refuse as fodder!"
The Brahman, still more sad, asked the road to give him its opinion.
"My dear sir," said the road, "how foolish you are to expect anything else! Here am I, useful to everybody, yet all, rich and poor, great and small, trample on me as they go past, giving me nothing but the ashes of their pipes and the husks of their grain!"
On this the Brahman turned back sorrowfully, and on the way he met a jackal, who called out, "Why, what's the matter, Mr. Brahman? You look as miserable as a fish out of water!"
The Brahman told him all that had occurred. "How very confusing!" said the jackal, when the recital was ended; "would you mind telling me over again, for everything has got so mixed up?"
The Brahman told it all over again, but the jackal shook his head in a distracted sort of way, and still could not understand.
"It's very odd," said he, sadly, "but it all seems to go in at one ear and out at the other! I will go to the place where it all happened, and then perhaps I shall be able to give a judgment."
So they returned to the cage, by which the tiger was waiting for the Brahman, and sharpening his teeth and claws.
"You've been away a long time!" growled the savage beast, "but now let us begin our dinner."
"Our dinner!" thought the wretched Brahman, as his knees knocked together with fright; "what a remarkably delicate way of putting it!"
"Give me five minutes, my lord!" he pleaded, "in order that I may explain matters to the jackal here, who is somewhat slow in his wits."
The tiger consented, and the Brahman began the whole story over again, not missing a single detail, and spinning as long a yarn as possible.
"Oh, my poor brain! oh, my poor brain!" cried the jackal, wringing its paws. "Let me see! how did it all begin? You were in the cage, and the tiger came walking by--"
"Pooh!" interrupted the tiger, "what a fool you are! I was in the cage."
"Of course!" cried the jackal, pretending to tremble with fright; "yes! I was in the cage--no I wasn't--dear! dear! where are my wits? Let me see--the tiger was in the Brahman, and the cage came walking by--no, that's not it, either! Well, don't mind me, but begin your dinner, for I shall never understand!"
"Yes, you shall!" returned the tiger, in a rage at the jackal's stupidity; "I'll make you understand! Look here--I am the tiger--"
"Yes, my lord!"
"And that is the Brahman--"
"Yes, my lord!"
"And that is the cage--"
"Yes, my lord!"
"And I was in the cage--do you understand?"
"Yes--no--Please, my lord--"
"Well?" cried the tiger impatiently.
"Please, my lord!--how did you get in?"
"How!--why in the usual way, of course!"
"Oh, dear me!--my head is beginning to whirl again! Please don't be angry, my lord, but what is the usual way?"
At this the tiger lost patience, and, jumping into the cage, cried, "This way! Now do you understand how it was?"
"Perfectly!" grinned the jackal, as he dexterously shut the door, "and if you will permit me to say so, I think matters will remain as they were!"
Class Reunion « Result #5 on Feb 25, 2009, 12:20am »
I was minding my own business a few weeks ago when I got “the call” -- that dreaded, shrill ringing of my telephone bearing news just short of a death in the family. It was a former high school classmate asking my assistance in our 20-year class reunion.
Could it be 20 years already? I shuddered. Cold chills went up and down my spine as tiny beads of sweat popped out on my forehead. What had I done with my life the past 20 years? My mother told me I’d have to deal with this some day,wow power leveling but I had laughed it off, just like I laughed off those embarrassing pink plastic curlers she used to wear in her hair. (I picked up a set at a garage sale just last week. Got a great deal on them, too!)
It’s amazing how a brief phone call can totally turn one’s life upside down. Suddenly, I began hearing those 1970s songs (now known as “oldies”) in a different arrangement, realizing that Mick Jagger was over 50, “Smoke on the Water” never did make any sense at all, and my “Seasons in the Sun” had literally faded into oblivion. Had the sun set on me already?
I glanced in the mirror.wow power leveling (Okay, I stared in the damned mirror.) I examined every tiny little crevice and pore, starting with my hairline, down past those patronizing “smile lines” to the base of my neck. No double chin yet, I thought.
The next few weeks were pure hell. Each day began with a grueling training program -- a 6:30 a.m. run in a futile attempt to bounce off that unsightly baggage that had somehow accumulated on my thighs overnight. I went shopping for the perfect dress -- you know, the one that would make me look 20 years younger. I found out that they stopped selling them around 1975. Three dresses later, I came to my senses.wow power leveling There was only one logical explanation: I was having a mid-life crisis.
I realized that the funny, crunching noise I heard each night as I climbed the stairs was really my knees. I had seriously considered adding potty training to my resume as one of my greatest accomplishments. Bran flakes had become a part of my daily routine -- and not because they were my favorite cereal.wow gold I held Tupperware parties just so I could count how many friends I had.
Life just hadn’t turned out the way I’d planned. Sure, I was happy. I had a wonderful husband and two great kids in the center of my life. But somehow, working part-time as a secretary and mom hardly fit my definition of someone my classmates had voted as wow gold“most likely to succeed.” Had I really wasted 20 years?
Just about the time I was ready to throw in the towel and my invitation, my seven-year old tapped me on the shoulder. “I love you, Mom. Give me a kiss.”
You know, wow gold I’m actually looking forward to the next 20 years.
Class Reunion « Result #6 on Feb 17, 2009, 10:49pm »
I was minding my own business a few weeks ago when I got “the call” -- that dreaded, shrill ringing of my telephone bearing news just short of a death in the family. It was a former high school classmate asking my assistance in our 20-year class reunion.
Could it be 20 years already? I shuddered. Cold chills went up and down my spine as tiny beads of sweat popped out on my forehead. What had I done with my life the past 20 years? My mother told me I’d have to deal with this some day,wow power leveling but I had laughed it off, just like I laughed off those embarrassing pink plastic curlers she used to wear in her hair. (I picked up a set at a garage sale just last week. Got a great deal on them, too!)
It’s amazing how a brief phone call can totally turn one’s life upside down. Suddenly, I began hearing those 1970s songs (now known as “oldies”) in a different arrangement, realizing that Mick Jagger was over 50, “Smoke on the Water” never did make any sense at all, and my “Seasons in the Sun” had literally faded into oblivion. Had the sun set on me already?
I glanced in the mirror.wow power leveling (Okay, I stared in the damned mirror.) I examined every tiny little crevice and pore, starting with my hairline, down past those patronizing “smile lines” to the base of my neck. No double chin yet, I thought.
The next few weeks were pure hell. Each day began with a grueling training program -- a 6:30 a.m. run in a futile attempt to bounce off that unsightly baggage that had somehow accumulated on my thighs overnight. I went shopping for the perfect dress -- you know, the one that would make me look 20 years younger. I found out that they stopped selling them around 1975. Three dresses later, I came to my senses.wow power leveling There was only one logical explanation: I was having a mid-life crisis.
I realized that the funny, crunching noise I heard each night as I climbed the stairs was really my knees. I had seriously considered adding potty training to my resume as one of my greatest accomplishments. Bran flakes had become a part of my daily routine -- and not because they were my favorite cereal.wow gold I held Tupperware parties just so I could count how many friends I had.
Life just hadn’t turned out the way I’d planned. Sure, I was happy. I had a wonderful husband and two great kids in the center of my life. But somehow, working part-time as a secretary and mom hardly fit my definition of someone my classmates had voted as wow gold“most likely to succeed.” Had I really wasted 20 years?
Just about the time I was ready to throw in the towel and my invitation, my seven-year old tapped me on the shoulder. “I love you, Mom. Give me a kiss.”
You know, wow gold I’m actually looking forward to the next 20 years.
True Forgiveness « Result #7 on Feb 17, 2009, 10:49pm »
Forty-three years seems like a long time to remember the name of a mere acquaintance. I have duly forgotten the name of an old lady who was a customer on my paper route when I was a twelve-year-old boy in Marinette, Wisconsin back in 1954. wow power leveling Yet it seems like just yesterday that she taught me a lesson in forgiveness that I can only hope to pass on to someone else someday.
On a mindless Saturday afternoon, wow gold, a friend and I were throwing rocks onto the roof of the old lady’s house from a secluded spot in her backyard. The object of our play was to observe how the rocks changed to missiles as they rolled to the roof’s edge and shot out into the yard like comets falling from the sky.
I found myself a perfectly smooth rock and sent it for a ride. The stone was too smooth, however, so it slipped from my hand as I let it go and headed straight for a small window on the old lady’s back porch. At the sound of fractured glass,wow power leveling we took off from the old lady’s yard faster than any of our missiles flew off her roof.
I was too scared about getting caught that first night to be concerned about the old lady with the broken porch window. However, a few days later, when I was sure that I hadn’t been discovered, I started to feel guilty for her misfortune. She still greeted me with a smile each day when I gave her the paper, but I was no longer able to act comfortable in her presence.
I made up my mind that I would save my paper delivery money, and in three weeks I had the seven dollars that I calculated would cover the cost of her window.wow power leveling I put the money in an envelope with a note explaining that I was sorry for breaking her window and hoped that the seven dollars would cover the cost for repairing it.
I waited until it was dark, snuck up to the old lady’s house, and put the envelope of retribution through the letter slot in her door. My soul felt redeemed and I couldn’t wait for the freedom of, once again, looking straight into the old lady’s eyes.
The next day, wow gold I handed the old lady her paper and was able to return the warm smile that I was receiving from her. She thanked me for the paper and said, “Here, I have something for you.” It was a bag of cookies. I thanked her and proceeded to eat the cookies as I continued my route.
After several cookies,wow gold I felt an envelope and pulled it out of the bag. When I opened the envelope, I was stunned. Inside was the seven dollars and a short note that said, “I’m proud of you.”
Puppies For Sale « Result #8 on Feb 11, 2009, 9:55pm »
A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read “Puppies For Sale.” Signs like that have a way of attracting small children, and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner’s sign. wow gold“How much are you going to sell the puppies for?” he asked.
The store owner replied, “Anywhere from $30 to $50.”
The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. wow power leveling“I have $2.37,” he said. “Can I please look at them?”
The store owner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerable behind. Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging limping puppy and said, “What’s wrong with that little dog?”
The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn’t have a hip socket.wow gold It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. “That’s the little puppy that I want to buy.”
The store owner said, “No, you don’t want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I’ll just give him to you.”
The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner’s eyes, pointing his finger and said, wow power leveling“I don’t want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I’ll pay full price. In fact I’ll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for.
The store owner countered, “You really don’t want to buy this little dog.wow gold He is never going to be able to jump and play with you like the other puppies.”
To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, wow power leveling“Well, I don’t run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!”
Jessies Glove « Result #9 on Feb 11, 2009, 9:55pm »
I do a lot of management training each year for the Circle K Corporation, a national chain of convenience stores. Among the topics we address in our seminars is the retention of quality employees-a real challenge to managers when you consider the pay scale in the service industry.wow power leveling During these discussions, I ask the participants, "What has caused you to stay long enough to become a manager?" Some time back a new manager took the question and slowly, with her voice almost breaking, said, "It was a $19 baseball glove." Cynthia told the group that she originally took a Circle K clerk wow gold job as an interim position while she looked for something better. On her second or third day behind the counter, she received a phone call from her nine-year-old son, Jessie. He needed a baseball glove for Little League. She explained that as a single mother, money was very tight, and her first check would have to go for paying bills.wow gold Perhaps she could buy his baseball glove with her second or third check.
When Cynthia arrived for work the next morning,wow power leveling Patricia, the store manager, asked her to come to the small room in back of the store that served as an office. Cynthia wondered if she had done something wrong or left some part of her job incomplete from the day before. She was concerned and confused.
Patricia handed her a box. "I overheard you talking to your son yesterday," she said, "and I know that it is hard to explain things to kids. This is a baseball glove for Jessie because he may not understand how important he is,wow gold even though you have to pay bills before you can buy gloves. You know we can't pay good people like you as much as we would like to; but we do care, and I want you to know you are important to us."
The thoughtfulness, wow power leveling empathy and love of this convenience store manager demonstrates vividly that people remember more how much an employer cares than how much the employer pays. An important lesson for the price of a Little League baseball glove.
![[Home]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/home.gif)
![[Help]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/help.gif)
![[Search]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/search.gif)
![[Login]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/login.gif)
![[Register]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/register.gif)
![[Search This Thread]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/search2.gif)
![[Reply]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/buttons/reply.gif)
![[Send Topic To Friend]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/buttons/sendtopic.gif)
![[Print]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/buttons/print.gif)
Author
![[Quote]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/buttons/quote.gif)
Logged